“I MOCK YOU, TRAFFIC LIGHT GODS!”

NOW GO READ MY BROTHERS’ QUOTES


β€Ž”That’s very deep, Holly. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY SANDWICH?” -Angelle


“I don’t want to die! My life just got good!”


Holly Kerchner (11:05:24 PM): I need to be committed to a mental institution
Julie (11:12:15 PM): many people do
Julie (11:12:17 PM): but look at us
Julie (11:12:21 PM): out in the world at large

“The Dude abides.” -The Big Lebowski

“Have you ever tried being friends with someone you hate? It is so much fun.”

“You, me, and irony. We’re all best friends!”

Holly OwO (11:24:55 PM): I am so desperately in love with photography
Stephen (11:25:43 PM): maybe you should try film-related pick up lines
Stephen (11:27:30 PM): “What say we go into a dark room and see what develops?”

Stephen (9:16:49 PM): I have 102 tabs open
Holly OwO (9:43:00 PM): DANG BOY
Stephen (9:44:25 PM): DANG GUH
Stephen (9:44:28 PM): haha
Stephen (9:44:31 PM): sry πŸ˜›

Stephen: eh!

Holly Kerchner (2:08:21 PM): I’m cleaning my room
Stephen (2:08:46 PM): how’s that going?
Holly Kerchner (2:08:51 PM): pretty good
Holly Kerchner (2:08:54 PM): I’m listening to pandora
Holly Kerchner (2:08:58 PM): and reorganizing my drawers
Stephen (2:09:17 PM): don’t get your drawers in a wad organizing them

Stephen (8:54:43 PM): what’s the word for nostalgia into the future?

Holly OwO (11:20:56 PM): I didn’t finish anything
Stephen (11:21:04 PM): I haven’t started anything

Holly OwO (10:31:29 PM): there are 3874364 things between me and summer
Holly OwO (10:31:34 PM): ap tests I am sure to fail
Holly OwO (10:31:36 PM): augugghghghghg
Stephen (10:32:46 PM): those things are disappearing at a rate of 63514 per day
Stephen (10:32:52 PM): calculated
Holly OwO (10:32:55 PM): dude tell me you did not
Stephen (10:33:02 PM): wait I did them til graduation
Stephen (10:33:06 PM): recalculating…
Stephen (10:33:41 PM): 66799 things per day are disappearing

Holly OwO (11:27:35 PM): that song used to be my face
Stephen (11:27:41 PM): face?
Stephen (11:27:52 PM): I like the song a lot too
Holly OwO (11:28:01 PM): HAHAH I JUST SAID FACE
Holly OwO (11:28:05 PM): I meant life idk why I said face

Mr. Sutton, after watching me smack into Mary while running between classrooms: “Are you okay?”
Holly: “Yes, but I think Mary hates me now.”
Mr. Sutton: “That’s okay–you have extravagant hair.”

“I’ve had too much to think. I’m thunk.” -Stephen

“Holly’s going to canoe far out, where no woman has canoed before.” -Ian

“It’s a vegetable orgy!” -my dad

“It’s okay that I am violating you right now because it is for your own safety!”

Mya, petting the bird: I just realized… he has no ears.
Dax: He can still hear, though.
Mya: Through his eyes?!

“You do realize that if he ever learns how to knit, you’re screwed.” -Maggie

“Scott actually takes a back seat to the chicken.” -Mya

Holly’s facebook status
Scott, appraising a situation: Let’s think this out logically.
Maggie, appraising a situation: WHAT THE HELL

Holly: Well, who do YOU think I should like?!
Mya: Maggie! She’s good for you!

“Inside, I’m always laughing.” -Holly

“You wish. If you had three wishes, you’d wish too.” -Camron

“Of course it was Maggie. Maggie, the well-spring of everything.” -Andrew

“Hi, I’m here representing your pain-in-the-ass neighbors.” -John Cooper

“Grinny face. L-O-L.” -Maggie

Holly: “You’re wearing practically nothing, Mckenzie.”
Mckenzie: “I’m wearing practically a lot! Not compared to you, but compared to a STRIPPER.”

Holly’s facebook status: Stephen Millar can tell when it’s time for me to get off the computer and go to bed because I start relating everything to stabbing.

Peter:
I was with James, Sung, Kim, Marichris, and Zack McKerley
all at BAM
we saw Bobbitt
we hid from him
or
as best we could with Tim rapping

“Holly, no offense, but every guy you have ever liked has been a total anomaly.” -Maggie

“Dude, I would have had so much ammo by the time I dated Shane!” -Maggie

β€Ž”Holly, this is my freaking fifth u-turn today!” -Maggie

“Chris is in our lives to keep us cheery. We’re like, life sucks, let’s talk about Chris.” -Maggie

“My mind is deciduous.” -Sam

Holly: β€Ž”Maggie, if we got caught, it would be your second offense, you would totally be arrested.”
Maggie: “But we weren’t reported the first time, they won’t know it’s my second offense.”
Holly: “God will know.”
Maggie: “Isn’t 40 supposed to be the magical number for God?”

Holly: “Maggie, what is it with Ft. Pickens?”
Maggie: “We enjoy exercise, and a bikeride out there is-”
Holly: “No, I mean the things that happen there.”
Maggie: “We take breaks!”

β€Ž”I feel like our family is a comedy you don’t laugh at.” -Dax

“There a difference between smack and straight.” -Maggie

“So I told my dad, ‘Yeah, me and Holly are kind of bros now, and our word is dude.'” -Maggie

“See, I do get you, man.”
“Dude, I love you, man.”
“Bro hug!”
“Bro hug!”

Maggie: James two hours after I text him: “I can be at your house in like two minutes”
WHERE ARE MY PANTS?!?!

“Money may not buy happiness, but it’ll buy you a yacht to drive up along side of it.” -Joe the Amish guy

“You think that guy needs a friend?” -Joe T.A.G.

“Love without madness is not love.” -Stephen Millar

“Dear Pringles, I cannot fit my hand inside your tube of deliciousness.” -Facebook

Dad: “Do you want to go to the hockey game? It’ll be really violent!”
Joe P.: “Will it be really violent for us?”

“Just for giggles, then!” -Aunt Mandy

“Hey little one.”

“I sparkled and was gay” –Bloody Jack: Rapture of the Deep

“I’m lost.” -Joe T.A.G.

“That dog doesn’t like you, Joe.”
“Well, that’s okay; now you’re not alone!”

“I am going to sell all my belongings and take up life with crabs!” -Mrs. Harvilchuck

“Uh-oh.” – Joe TAG

“I think I’ll watch a book.” -Joe TAG

“You don’t have to say sorry, and I’m not going to actually beat you with your own mail. That’s the way it works around here!”

Holly: “What’s the most common Amish medicine?”
Joe: “A lickin’ in the woodshed.”

“That bra is not mine!”

DRob: “Timothy, it’s getting a bit noisy back there with you.”
Holly: *legit cough*
DRob: “And, Holly, it’s always noisy with you.”

“Mucho macho muchacho.”

“Why is it so quiet in here?” -Mr. Mitchell

Ivershine (8:08:55 PM): i love any song by Taylor Swift
Ivershine (8:08:58 PM): she’s amazing
Holly OwO (8:09:01 PM): Imma letchu finish
Holly OwO (8:09:12 PM): but I also like other songs by [Oren Lavie]

Ivershine (8:16:22 PM): they’re not very good pics of me
Holly OwO (8:18:22 PM): nah
Holly OwO (8:18:26 PM): they’re fine
Ivershine (8:18:35 PM): haha i was jk
Ivershine (8:18:36 PM): lol
Ivershine (8:18:42 PM): but thanks
Holly OwO (8:18:42 PM): haha yeah
Holly OwO (8:18:44 PM): me too

Hayley: “What flavor are the chips.”
Jack: “Um… blank?”
Hayley: *eats chip* “They’re blank.”

“Your hair is scary alive.”

“I put some Peeps in the microwave with some toothpicks in them and they blew up and were like, jousting with each other.” -Hayley P.

“Stephen” (11:02:03 PM): she barely even looks at hw you turn in
“Stephen” (11:02:55 PM): I know ppl that have turned in a half the hw and she gives a 100 and i know someone who turned in their chemistry hw and she put a ? mark and gave him a 100

“I’m gonna punch a nerd.”

“Stephen” (9:59:34 PM): on my gravestone it would be totally ballin’ to put
“Stephen” (9:59:36 PM): “brb”

“You know I’ll lend him out to you.” -Maggie

“We’re going to find out what Utah is shaped like.”

“Hahahahaha! I am so upset!”

“Dax Kerchner likes eating lots and lots of lizards.” -Facebook

“If you have a passion for eating lots and lots of lizards, sign up and we’ll let you know when we’re ready for your help.” -Facebook

Holly: I’m not going into the kitchen
Holly: what if I look out the window and there’s a creeper?
Stephen: challenge him to a creep-off
Stephen: or just run like hell

Andrew: well, of course
Andrew: I would never have the dreadful misconception of sanity on your part

Andrew (on tea): I really don’t hate it that much
Andrew: I can just think of about 15462 other things I’d rather drink first
Andrew: One of which happens to be antifreeze

Holly: Isn’t he the one who’s always laughing?
Dax: He got a bad grade in TOK for that.
Holly: For laughing?
Dax: He was doing a presentation on abandoned children.

“Sorry I’m such a brat-..oh my gosh, my pants are unbuckled! Who unbuckled my pants?!”

“I like how Amish people are tight.” -Mya (with excess “like”s removed)

β€Ž”Okay, so starting now, I am going to say ‘I would bet money’ except you’re going to remember that I wouldn’t actually, but I’m going to say it like I mean it okay I am getting a call good-bye.”

Dax Kerchner: It’s really windy right now. That is pretty awesome.
Mckenzie Matthews: really?!?!
Dax Kerchner: Not so much now actually. Now it’s just thundering and raining really hard.
Holly Kerchner: YES.
IT IS LIKE CRAZY
IT IS THUNDERING AND LIGHTNINGING AND IT’S POURING DOWN RAIN WOOO
Mckenzie Matthews: sooo maybe i shouldnt go down tomorw if its gross?
Holly Kerchner: Nah, it’ll be better tomorrow. It’s just a quick storm. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny. Plus, this is not GROSS. This is AWESOME.
Dax Kerchner: Holly obtains energy from storms
Without storms she would die
Mckenzie Matthews: no holly gains energy from like…the air really… Annnd should i come tmrw or fri!!!!!???!?!!?!?
Holly Kerchner: TOMORROW, LEST I DIE.
Dax Kerchner: β€Ž!!!!!???!?!!?!?
Mckenzie Matthews: huh. u worry me.

“Haha, nah, I was thinking like, somewhere in the forest next to one of our houses. Or there is that underground abandoned house that might be good. Idk, just wherever we feel like at the time, I guess.”

“You and those glasses, you see the truth in every one; and that’s why you hang out with me and Mya, ’cause we’re awesome.” -Mckenzie

“I liked Scott before he was in fashion.”

“even though we will be mentally disabled
at least we will have…. MONEY”

Me (under my breath): “Haters gonna hate.”
Martelli: Holly, you’re Jewish?!

Holly:<3
Maggie:<#
Maggie: ❀
Holly: HAHAHAHAHA
Maggie: lol fail.
Holly: Oh my gosh I love you so much
Maggie: *shark emoticon*
Maggie: lurv you too.
Maggie: ….sharkbait oh ha ha

Anthony: *relating information on some type of bird where the mating ritual involves raping* “…the woman bird is just walking along, then this gang of man birds just like swarm her…”
Ms. Bidwell: “You can’t use terms like rape with animals, you’re anthropomorphizing them.”
Anthony: “Well…”
Ms. Bidwell: “How do you the female bird isn’t going ‘Whooooooo!'”

Dad: I’d be so misrable if I was a bed bug!
Me: I’d be so miserable if I lived in Florida…. WAIT A SECOND
Dad: You’re a bed bug!


“Holly’s soul lives in Montana. It waits for her there.” -Sydney


“Remeber WINSday?”

Beware of the deadly donkey
Falling slowly from the sky,
You can choose the way you live, my friend;
But not the way you die.

“That’s the difference between you and me, Mom; you see crap, I see a crapportunity.” -George Lopez

Maggie’s section:

“Maggie is a man! JK but I have joined their little club. :D”

“Ya know, the Grimm brothers. They wrote all those scary stories. Like ‘Little Red Riding Hood’.”

“You can’t turn people into math problems!”

“I’d wish James had already strangled me with Australian koalas!”

“I think I can feign sane.”

There’s only one reason why I can’t grow up to become a grammar teacher, and Maggie put it best when she said, “Your students would either excel… or die.”

“Her parents will let her get a nose ring, but they won’t let her get a Facebook?!”

“He worked his pecs, heck yeah!”

“Ah you’re never alone with friends like us. ”

“Dang it, Holly, you just enlightened my life!”

“So what’cha reckon, Little Miss Mass Murderer?”

“Ballin’, Holly, ballin’!”

“The alien’s out of the closet!”

“Nobody digs graves like you, Holly!”

Holly OwO (6:33:19 PM): http://www.kitco.com/charts/livegold.html
Holly OwO (6:34:06 PM): Gold has taken a leap!!!
Southernbaywolf (6:34:21 PM): dang interesting
Holly OwO (6:34:29 PM): Hahaha you’re so lying
Southernbaywolf (6:35:10 PM): duh, but nice graphs. πŸ˜›

“I really need to see James soon;he still has my biker chick outfit.”

“I’m gonna hit you with a barbie if you don’t shut up, Jass!” -Hannah P.

“I knew that often, answers of such this often we fractions with a denominator of 2…” -Seth F.

“Who’s Bob? Seriously.” -James M.

“Whoa, you must be rich!”
“Not me, but my dad. You ever heard of Mobil Oil?”
“Your father owns Mobil Oil?!”
“No, but he sure sued ’em!” -Family Matters

“My mom was born two months pregnant, she’s okay now…” Random person, when speaking in sympathy of Mrs. Beurmann’s premature baby.

“He hates him.”
“He does not hate him!”
“He HATES him.”
“Ok, just a little.”

“Better not make a move on my man, Holly.”

“Certain! Now, my linguas skills very much good.”

“My bubble. Stay out of my bubble. My bubble has a hole in it so I can reach out and get some food.” -Sara D.

“He cheats so much, he might as well be gay.” -Sara D.

“…Average Joe, Joe mama!” -Mr. Jones

“If you talk one more time, we’re gonna tango.” -Ms. Sales

“You can wrassle it to the ground!” – Ms. Martelli

“Sorry. Air condition repair– or, heating repair. Just in time for it to cool off— or, warm up.” -Mr. Jones

“I am a marshmallow!” – Ms. Sales

“…it takes ages to kill the world but when you do, you have a sense of accomplishment.” -John Paul

“She sounded kind of drunk on the answering machine. Maybe she still is, I don’t know.” -Dax

“I almost ROLF’d all over the parking lot today.”

“Everyone’s family is crazy.” -Jeff Foxworthy

Ms. Sales: “There’s too much communication going on in my classroom”
Alex: “You’re the one talking!”

“Ha… bee…ba.. da.. jee-bees!!” -James

Me: I love my friends.
Dax: You love what? Mushrooms?

Amanda Gordon do a little dance make a little love GET DOWN TONIGHT! GET DOWN TONIGHT!!! 10 shots of rum ago.

“Life sucks and then you die.” -Ms. Sales

“I just love how you twist things around to your own liking. It’s so cute.” -Tram

smexyangel4moshi (10:27:13 PM): My sister thinks she’s in rehab
smexyangel4moshi (10:27:14 PM): xDDD
smexyangel4moshi (10:27:15 PM): she’s cute.

mashedpootato (7:39:28 PM): life is a kid with a magnifying glass…
mashedpootato (7:39:38 PM): on a hott summer day
mashedpootato (7:39:42 PM): and we are…ants

“No, no, I’m not an Asian!” -Tram

“The world is coming down because you failed your science test! Way to go, Al Queda!” – Mr. Jones

“I see white people.” -Hannah P.

“Uhmmm…. noooo.” -Shreese

“Oh, fact!” -James M.

mashedpootato (5:45:17 PM): lol are you serious? im stupid as crack

Loretta: I’m getting married, Ma.
Rose: Again?
Loretta: Yeah
Rose: Do you love him?
Loretta: No.
Rose: Good. Because when you love them, they drive you crazy because they can.
-Moonstruck

Holly OwO (7:18:56 PM): Maggie?
Southernbaywolf (7:18:56 PM): yo you call?
(check the times)

Ryan: Can I get some water?
Mr. Jones: What?
Ryan: Can I get some water?
Mr. Jones: Huh?
Ryan: May I get some water?
Mr. Jones: What’d you say?
Ryan: Please?
Mr. Jones: Please what?
Ryan: I don’t know!

“A friend is one soul in two bodies.” -Aristotle

“There’s no hope in dope, kids.” Mr. Jones

“You call this a baby, woman?!” -Mr. Jones

“John” (7:05:26 PM): well i was dropped as a child
Holly OwO (7:05:43 PM): several times?
“John” (7:06:12 PM): only once
“John” (7:06:16 PM): but it was into a blender

“Are you on crack?!” -Mr. Murray

“Yes, Holly, that would be quite balling.”

“I know, huh!”

“John” (8:49:44 PM): it makes me want to drown babies
“John” (8:49:47 PM): but i want to do that anyways

“Hey, friend.”

Dad, Mom, Dax, and I were biking at night and Dax said, “I know that girl we just passed was drunk because when she saw us she said, ‘Wow! That’s three, four, five bikes!'”

“Aw, you’re such a crybaby. I bet you were born crying!” -Sami

mashedpootato (4:51:39 PM): welcome to typical teenage life…theres [soda] in the lounge and a razor blade in the bathroom
mashedpootato (4:51:42 PM): make yourself at home

“A miner?” -J

Holly OwO (4:55:52 PM): oh my gosh!!!!!
“John” (4:56:04 PM): yes…there is no santa…
“John” (4:56:09 PM): im sorry you had to find out this way

Miss Paige: Now who’s missing?
John S: Your mom
-English 8th grade at PCA… she laughed for the rest of the period. More than the class.

“Naked naked naked naked!”

“I’ll meet you on Gay Street.”

“Nobody move! I’ve misplaced my brain.” -The great Jack Sparrow

Me: πŸ™‚
Angela: πŸ™‚
Me: πŸ˜€
Angela: πŸ™‚
Angela: Don’t push it.

“Almost ow!” -Dakota

“Almost ow!” -James T.

“Do one thing everyday that scares you.” -Eleanor Roosevelt

“You cause your own problems.”

“I will cut you!” -Bon Qui Qui

“The Jonas Brothers! I love those guys!” -My dad

Dianna Ta is feelin’ fine =). 14 minutes ago
John Paul Jones at 6:17pm February 25:
too bad she isn’t looking fine

kldaace’s Away Message
Eating right now. They say it’s a necessary part of life… at least until I get those chloroplasts…

“Ghetto fabulousness!” -Mr. Jones

“Just Jack!”

“John” (9:23:05 PM): well remember…people are mor eporned to remember when studying if they are in a minorly aruosed state

“John” (10:19:17 PM): congrads…as the 1st customer of “john’s overdosage services,” you get a complimentary tourniquet!

alitheiapsis
Julie Vu-Li Vu, where are you? We’ve got some guides to make now. Julie Vu-Li Vu, where are you? We’ve got some shins to kick now!

“Dax, shut up!”
“I didn’t say anything!”
“You did a few minutes ago!”

“John” (3:06:40 PM): My mom talking to me dad: you are worse than the kids. I can spank them and kick them but you are just bad.

“Oo, happy kitty toothpaste! Tastes like bubble gum! Tastes like kitties!” -Mr. Jones

Holly OwO (10:17:08 PM): How did Alexius I deal with the Bogomil heretics?A)He had them all executed by being burned on a cross.B)He condemned them to death by crucifixion.C)He had them banished from the empire.D)He forced them to convert to Manichaeism.E)none of the above.
“John” (10:17:44 PM): what the hello? i dnt even know that name haha
“John” (10:17:47 PM): im gonna guess…
“John” (10:17:50 PM): B?
“John” (10:18:11 PM): no A!
“John” (10:18:16 PM): no!! C~!
“John” (10:18:19 PM): actually…maybe D
“John” (10:18:24 PM): and a little bit of E too
“John” (10:18:45 PM): correct answer: they are all right! we dont descriminate!

“Have we talked about heresy in the church of room 81?” -Mr. Jones

“John” (10:21:55 PM): good books are for squares!!
“John” (10:22:04 PM): and rectangles…cuz thats the shape books are
Holly OwO (10:22:04 PM): YOUR MOM IS SQUARE
“John” (10:22:56 PM): actually…its more like a disfigured blob type shape

“You can’t just bring animals in her all the time, Dr. Do-Nothing.” -Will

“I’m gonna leave my thing behind.” -Dax

“I am a one-speed bike!” -Hannah

“You had better not rip this, because I will show you a Mexican!” -Katherine

“John” (8:54:12 PM): i dont know any straight guy who said fabulous

“Holy hangover, Batgirl!” -Will

*sniffs marker* “Ahhh…” -Robo

Dax Kerchner (10:26:41 PM): what’s mashedpootato?
mashedpootato (10:27:26 PM): mashedpootato is nothing. mashedpootato is everything. it is the very fabric that holds this world together. it is the air. it is everywhere. it is power

“Dax has one speed– stop and kill.” -Joe

“Ok, everyone gets 5 balls. So Dax, you get 1 through 4.” -Joe

“Not so easy, is it, matey!”

“We’ll always be friends… until you die.”

“Holly, do you still blister when people throw holy water on you?” -Brian

“There is no mistaking a real book when one meets it. It is like falling in love.” -Christopher Morley

Holly OwO (10:14:30 PM): i knew someone else who did that
Holly OwO (10:14:33 PM): *cough*
“John” (10:14:50 PM): gosh you make it sound like they died
Holly OwO (10:15:48 PM): well i can’t argue with that
“John” (10:16:02 PM): well alrighty then

“No, we are not interviewing Amish people!” -Helie

“Naturally perky what?!!!”

“John” (11:03:41 PM): im gonna fail geometry..
Holly OwO (11:04:03 PM): same
“John” (11:04:12 PM): lol dont you have an A in that class?
Holly OwO (11:04:39 PM): no
Holly OwO (11:04:39 PM): 88
“John” (11:04:51 PM): which is practically an A!!
“John” (11:05:00 PM): ugg lol i would murder like 6 babies to get that grade
“John” (11:05:08 PM): but only 6 cuz ya know…7 is too many

“I’m not a blanket whore! You’reΒ a blanket whore!”

“Canoodling!!!”

“John” (9:25:14 PM): try IB stabs your morals in the back, throws them into a truck, drives you to a paper mill, throws you into the compost, turns the machine on, watches your poor morals being ground up into this new eco-friendly paper, then taking the paper…to print out the AP exams
“John” (9:25:25 PM): like serioously…that’s how they get AP paper those cool colors

“I’ve barely danced at all! I just keep standing around having epiphanies!”

“Apple pie! Love……..in a pie-crust.” -John L.

“John” (10:05:00 PM): :D~ smiles make everything better
“John” (10:05:04 PM): even if they are fake

“It’s menthol, not methane.”

“I’m gonna kick your a-double-money-sign!” – Dennis

“I’m a little cosmo, short and stout!”- Miss Harvilchuck

“Be inept. It’s more interesting.” -Miss Brooks

Who forgets to put the “ville” in “Jacksonville”?!

“Du bist doof, du bist doof.”

“What? You like Young?!”

“What is ‘Daughtery,’ Holly? A concert? It is a classical concert?” -Dax

Your mom’s file is corrupt!” -Dax

“Oh, my flaming castle!”

“I have 4,791,110,240 blood in my bloodbank.” *sticks out toungue* -Hannah

“You were voluntold!”

Holly: “Hey, Mom, I need um…muhamablahblah….”
Mom: “Batteries?”
Holly: “Yeah!”

“Maggie and Scott, stop breaking Hannah’s bed!”

That’s not a pool stick. This is a pool stick.”

“Yes, I am alone, but at least I have my righteous anger to keep me company at night.” –Because I Said So

A most excellent year.